The Drinking Game
by Lydja-chan
Summary: Zuko, Iroh & Jun stop at an inn for the night. What happens when Zuko turns in early and leaves the other two to their own devices? Trouble! Audience particpation welcome.
1. My Dear

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender; nor any of its characters contained within.

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The sound of two shot glasses hitting the small wooden table simultaneously resounded through the bar of the small inn. They were in a corner by themslves, though the rest of the inn was filled, the crowd gave them no mind. 

"You are most impressive my dear." Iroh smiled as he poured the next round.

"You're not so bad yourself old man." Jun smirked, she winked at him as she put another shot of whiskey down her throat. It burned for a moment before its warmth spread through her body. This time she could feel the heat in her cheeks. "No matter how good you are, I'm still going to beat you." She fanned her face with her hand, "Is it getting hot in here?" Jun unconsciously tugged at her collar.

Now it was Iroh's turn to wink at Jun, "Lady Jun, you are with the great Dragon of the West, of course things are getting hot." Iroh raised his glass to her and was about to demolish his 6th round.

"Wait," Iroh paused, "I have an idea, drinking each other under the table is no fun unless there is proof as to who the winner is." She circled the rim of her glass with one finger as she spoke.

"The winner is simply who lasts the longest."

"Ah, but without an audience how can we really be sure. Besides," Jun batted her eyelashes at him, "I prefer to make things interesting."

Iroh stroked his beard and contemplated a moment. "Name your terms."

Jun eyes twinkled with mischief. "The game is Drink or Dare. We challenge each other to a series of stunts, if you complete the dare successfully you don't have to drink, if you try and fail, you drink, if you refuse the dare you take two drinks."

"I accept, but what is a game without a prize." he nodded to himself. "If you win I will give you 100 gold pieces."

"And if you win?" Jun asked guardedly.

Iroh threw up his hands innocently. "All I ask for is a night of your company."

"As long as I get to say when the night ends."

"Agreed." The old general and young hunter shook to seal the deal. "This should be most interesting."

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If your interested in seeing where this goes, review. Audience participation is welcome. Most chapters will be short, so I hope to update every 4 to 5 days. Time frame is right after "Bato of the Water Tribe" before Iroh, Jun, & Zuko return to the ship. Be prepared for the ensuing insanity. 


	2. The Game

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

The bounty hunter broke the handshake and pointed at his shot glass. "Now finish that and we can begin." Iroh gave her a questioning look. "I've already had six, we have to start on even ground." The general shrugged and did as he was told. "Since it was my idea, I will give you the opening move."

Iroh put his glass down and tucked his hands in his sleeves so that he could twiddle his thumbs unseen. For the life of him he really couldn't think of anything. He wasn't playing on his own board so like any good player he should start with a simple move so that he could feel out his opponent's strategy. He thought that over a moment before coming up with a task. "Do a handstand for... ohhh... Lets say 5 minutes."

Jun smiled. "Very well" She stepped back from the table and gracefully went into a handstand, after a few seconds of shifting her lower body, now above her, she found the right balance to hold the pose for the allotted time.

Iroh looked on with a blank face, keeping time. However, he inwardly thought that it was a shame that Jun wore riding pants, rather than a dress. Letting his mind wander along those lines he imagined she would look rather fetching in something sleeveless and low-cut. He was playing a mental game of Jun dress-up, when abruptly he was brought out of his dreaming by her angry hiss.

"...yet? I said, OLD man, is time up yet!" Jun's arms were beginning to tremble slightly and her face was almost as red as her tattoos.

Iroh glanced quickly over at the candle, it had melted enough to indicate well over 5 minutes had gone by. "Yes, time is up, well done." He flashed her one of his disarming smiles.

Jun stood and brushed her hands off, she took and extra moment to return her hair to its usual style. "Thanks" She replied, somewhat winded. "Now lets see..." She looked Iroh up and down then her eyes sparkled with evil glee. "..aahhh. I've got one for you, how bout' we get an audience after all. Stand on..." Jun scanned the room quickly, "...that table and sing 'I'm a Little Teapot.'"

Iroh followed the line of Jun's arm and his smile fell. The table she had designated was full of burly earth kingdom men, all strong backs and thick necks. _Probably thick heads too, this girl doesn't play nice. _Iroh seriously thought for a moment about taking his two shots, but it would be unwise to show weakness so early in the game. So, swallowing the lump in his throat, Iroh headed to the table, smiled at its occupants and hopped up.

Jun couldn't help but snicker as the great Dragon of the West bowed apologetically to the men at the table upon which he stood. Taking a deep breath he softly and, somehow, nobly began to sing. Jun shook her head, _This won't do. _

As Iroh started to sing he caught Jun shaking her head. She looked him in the eye and prominently put one hand on her hip while cocking the other outward. Iroh sighed and rolled his eyes before starting the song over again, this time louder and with full body gestures.

"I'm a little teapot, short & stout." _I'm going to hurt her sooo bad._ "Here is my handle, here is my spout." Iroh was now beginning to turn heads and soon the whole bar was focused on him. "When I get all steamed up, here me shout." Iroh blew steam from his nostrils, well if he was going to put on a show he might as well do it right. "Tip me oOOOooOvveeerrr, and poooooouurrrr meeeEEeHehhh ahhhOOOOOUUUUUTT!" The crowded laughed loudly and clapped, some even threw a few bronze coins at Iroh's feet.

Jun smirked and clapped softly, this guy was not going to be as easy to beat as she had originally thought, but it certainly was going to be fun. She saw Iroh raise his handsto the crowd for silence, and when she saw the sparkle in his eye was directed towards her she felt her stomach twist.

"My good friends thank you for your warm applause but I am only the beginning of this evening's entertainment. If will just wait a moment you will be in for a real treat." Iroh jumped down from the table and headed straight for Jun. He took her hand, leaned close and whispered in her ear, at which point Jun turned a lovely shade of pink.

When Iroh pulled back and smiled at her Jun wanted to punch all of his teeth out. He had really put her on the spot but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her bow out. _If he wants a show, I'll give him a show. _Jun took Iroh's arm and allowed herself to be escorted to the 'stage'. She was greeted with whistles and cheers as she daintily climbed onto the table with the assist of many masculine hands.

Iroh stood to one side of the table and began his lyrical introduction. "Hurry, hurry here's your chance, to see the mystery and romance," Iroh threw a small fireball at a mug of ale still on the table in front of Jun, causing it to vaporize into a rising cloud of smoke. "danger is this siren's chant, dance my Jun-chan DANCE!" He put a small horn to his lips and played a brassy yet sultry tune, as Jun stepped through the smoke with a clap. While Jun circled the tabletop she continued to clap a pattern, slow quick quick pause, until the crowd picked up the rhythm and took over the beat.

Jun's movements were slow andseductive, moving her bodyand hips to Iroh's notes. Occasionally she'd bend down to stroke the chin of one of the man, while giving those on the other side of the table a rather nice view in and of itself. Jun soon moved from the table to the bar and as she promenaded the bounty hunter began to undo buckles. A buckle a beat, until she threw open her topcoat, reveling a small supportive top and toned abdominals. The crowd erupted, and gold coins began flying through the air. As Iroh began to play the final stanza Jun pulled off her left glove, swung it high above her head and tossed it into the mist of the crowd. A dog-pile was the result and Jun calmly started collecting the coins at her feet.

Iroh picked his way through the crowd and came up to Jun just as she finished re-buckling her coat. "I think I like the other look better."

"You would." She gave him a dirty look. "However, I seem to be missing part of my wardrobe."

The old general looked around, the pile-up has been dispersed and a very large man was laughing and gesturing to his companions, Jun's long black glove hung from his large first. Iroh pointed him out to her.

Jun smirked. "Good. Now go and get it for me."

"It is a nice prize, I'd do not think that he will give it up easily." Iroh frowned as he sized up the burly man.

"Oh it shouldn't be that hard. Just tell him that he'll receive a kiss in exchange." Jun was counting up her coins as she spoke.

Iroh beamed, "Oh that is a fair exchange indeed."

Jun didn't look up, "I didn't say it was coming from me." she her a choking noise and when she looked up Iroh's eyes were bulged out. "Personally, I didn't think it would be that big of a deal. I mean you have been traveling on a ship with an all male crew for two years haven't you. But if you're not willing to complete the dare, go ahead and take your two shots, I'll just go get it myself." Jun pocketed the coins and started towards the man with her glove.

Iroh was absolutely fuming. It was one thing to make him sing, but quite another to question his manhood. No matter what he did, he had lost this round. _Ohhh child, you will pay for this. _He caught Jun's arm as she was passing him. "Fine." he hissed. "I will complete this dare, but I will not kiss him on the lips."

"That's fine with me, but you have to use this." She produced a small tube from her pocket. "Otherwise what proof will I have."

Iroh took the tube and opened it, he gave Jun a quick questioning look and she pursed her lips at him. Iroh thought for a moment that he might be sick, but he fought off the urge and put on the lip color. He stomped off, leaving the sound of Jun's laughter in the background.

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Thank you to everyone for your comments and encouragement. The biggest thanks of all being to: Seriously Yours. It was your suggestion that set this whole entire series of events into motion. Don't worry, I will be using it in the next chapter. I just wanted to get this one up before I ran into any writers blocks. Everyone knows how dangerous they can be. 

Will Iroh really go through with it? Find out in the next chapter, plus bar room brawls and a special brew. Don't forget, your input could change the outcome.


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